So I’m using this time as many are, to slow down and reevaluate my life a bit. And rediscover some things I’ve been missing for a while.
One of those things is reading books… like real hard cover books. Especially re-reading all my beloved Dorothea Benton Frank books. I had a friendship with Dottie over many years and miss her nearly every day. I can still hear her voice on the phone saying to me (when I got divorced years ago)…. “Now’s your chance to find out who you are… Who you really are . And do the things you always wanted to do for yourself. Get yourself down to the Lowcountry and DO IT! “
She was so right then and I still believe that. It took me a long time and a lot of soul searching, but it wasn’t until I loved who I was and was content with myself, that the love of my life found me here in the Lowcountry, where my soul had always called me. It’s really like one of her books and she’d like that.
One of the things I absolutely love most about my marriage to Joe is he loves me for who I really am, and he encourages me to do things for, and even by myself. Sure, we love to do things together such as listening to old vinyl records (even on an old phonograph), looking at old photographs, antiquing, watch our resident Mississippi Kites (birds), dragonflies, and bats, watch Penguins Hockey, smoke cigars and much more together.
But Joe also encourages me to go on occasional girls night out with my besties, to the nail salon, trivia, or to the Salt Studio I love, but that’s been pretty rare the last couple of years due to time constraints, working so much. I’m looking forward to some of those simple pleasures again when quarantine restrictions loosen a bit more. I do try to reciprocate his personal time too, and in fact he’s right now on a guys trout fishing trip with his buddies in a remote area of Pennsylvania. That yearly trip is good for his spirit too.
Anyway, because of this Covid Crisis and losing my salaried position due to company cutbacks, I’ve suddenly found myself having more time. I’m analyzing things and I’m realizing I was beginning to lose knowing who I really was again, and stopped enjoying hobbies and passions, due to my workaholic nature. I even sacrificed my honeymoon and some family trips home because I felt I’d be letting my company, my agents, and their clients down. I realize ultimately, I let those closest to me and myself down instead. I’m kicking myself because it was MY fault thinking that in today’s age, my work ethic and sacrifices would be appreciated.
I know better and should have honored that family and friends must come first. That’s the legacy I really want to leave… that I loved them with all my heart and showed it. I certainly don’t want it engraved on my tombstone someday, “She worked hard and nobody cared.” But I think a lot of us fall victim to the same thinking that those sacrifices are what will save our jobs when the chips are down, when that is not usually a factor. Or at least, so I’m told.
Anyway, I am making some life changes. Yes, I will be working hard for my clients but not at the sacrifice of my own family, my health and well being. With a deadly virus still lurking, none of us are guaranteed tomorrow and I want to make each day count. I hope all of you are doing likewise.
I’ve also decided to take a bit of a break from social media, especially Facebook. I love catching up with friends and family there with pictures of celebration and your general updates, but it has turned into everyone being an expert and a very judgemental place as of late and it is hurting my heart. I really don’t like unnecessary conflict. It’s a waste of time and energy.
In my mind, if it’s within the law and you want to do something or not do something, that’s your business and I won’t judge you, but I hate seeing all the criticisms and plain old meanness on there. Most people would never say those things to someone’s face, for goodness sake. I was finding myself getting too upset about it all, so… off (deactivated) it goes… at least for now. Might be that way thru the election cause it’s probably not gonna get better during all that. I have more important things to do than to watch everybody that I care about being cruel to each other, and as my favorite t-shirt says, “Not my pasture, Not my bullshit.” Just know that I love you all, no matter.
In refocusing on priorities, some good things are starting to happen. I have been enjoying preparing more home-cooked meals and I really have a goal to start eating healthier too.
A part of cooking healthier is that we are growing a small fresh garden this year. We have tomatoes, LOTS of different kinds of peppers, squash (that’s a bloom at the top of this page), onions and chives. Then we have some herbs like spearmint, peppermint, basil, purple basil, and rosemary. Oh and blueberry bushes, raspberries, blackberries, a peach tree (that is struggling this year) and a young fig tree.
And of course I have many beloved flowers and plants that Joe loves buying me and I love tending and taking pictures of, as you may see from my Instagram page. I probably will remain there because most of the people I follow there are sharing things and scenes of beauty. That is really refreshing and needed, and hope it continues like that. At least with the people I follow. Feel free to follow me on Instagram @LoriBaden.
It’s really rewarding to see these things grow around our barn home. Every day, I see God’s plan in helping us find this place, where it’s ok to plant the garden we want. Many of the gated communities in the area would prohibit all these goodies and random rose beds and such. At the least they would need “approval,” and that’s just not our style.
I also want to really start exercising again! I am riding my bike a mile or so every day out to the mailbox and back, and around our dirt road dodging the huge swamp bugs trying to get me. LOL! . And I do feel like Yoga here at home, is in my future but I may have to wait just a bit on that…
I’m having shoulder surgery at the beginning of June so I’m getting things around the house in order. It’s my dominant right arm and I’ll be in a sling for 4-6 weeks afterward. It’s gonna be a bit difficult to fully work for a bit, but I’ll still be accommodating property searches online, emailing and such, but I’m not gearing up for my future marketing blasts and showings until after I see how the procedure goes. I really rushed my recovery 5 years ago after my hip surgery due to work, which caused a major setback in my recovery, and I’m not making that mistake again.
By the way, I do still know agents across the area, state and country to refer you to, and that would help me pay some of these future medical bills. So PLEASE, don’t hesitate to reach out to me to connect you ( Lori@LoriBaden.com ) with someone perfect for your needs. It’d be much appreciated as Joe got cutback to weekends at his job and we are still nervous about future furloughs/layoffs there.
Wow… I wrote a lot for a change. Might be a little bit before I write again so just wanted to fill you in and let you know, I’m alright. I’m rediscovering me. I’m resetting and growing. I feel good about this and think that the stars are lining up for me to shine even brighter, very soon.
Hope you all will follow along to watch me grow here on my blog and on Instagram, and maybe you can share your growth from these trying times too. Love and blessings everyone.
“The most important thing I learned is that to be truly happy, you’ve got to pay attention to that stupid inner voice we all have. It knows what you need and will drive you shit crazy until you listen to it.”